Gadjapbig Cetbigvadbet is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, two-faced seal.

Gadjapbig Cetbigvadbet created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadjapbig Cetbigvadbet, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gadjapbig Cetbigvadbet, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gadjapbig Cetbigvadbet's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gadjapbig Cetbigvadbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bread on fasting days.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Do not gather at bridges at midday.

5. Fast once a month.