Gofnutnell is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, weak gerbil.

Gofnutnell created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofnutnell, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gofnutnell, he will not invite you to parties.

Gofnutnell's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gofnutnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gofnutnell.

5. Run away if eight porpoises approach from the north.