Zansawpad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Zansawpad created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zansawpad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zansawpad, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zansawpad's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Zansawpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from titanium.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never allow bats to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Always wear green.