Sandcapkam Bomniblik Cudortcad is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, prudent newt.

Sandcapkam Bomniblik Cudortcad created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandcapkam Bomniblik Cudortcad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sandcapkam Bomniblik Cudortcad, she will send minions to preach to you.

Sandcapkam Bomniblik Cudortcad's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Sandcapkam Bomniblik Cudortcad's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green otters for they are unholy.

2. Put Sandcapkam Bomniblik Cudortcad first in all things.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Run away from black horses, for they are unholy.