Nartsissand is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, flying chicken.

Nartsissand created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartsissand, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nartsissand, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Nartsissand's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nartsissand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Never feed spinach to doves while wearing black dresses.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never bounce in the presence of elders.