Tifnarlmip is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, contented human.

Tifnarlmip created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifnarlmip, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tifnarlmip, he will turn you into a duck.

Tifnarlmip's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tifnarlmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tifnarlmip's name in vain.

2. Hide from red doves for they are unholy.

3. You must pray to Tifnarlmip eight times a day.

4. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

5. Never allow mice to sleep beneath your roof.