Fodbestvog is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, narcissistic snail.

Fodbestvog created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fodbestvog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fodbestvog, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fodbestvog's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fodbestvog's Holy Commandments

1. Remain bowed during prayer.

2. Do not contemplate ultrasonics during the night.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Hide if eight horses approach from the south.