Jarntapstig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, idiotic pigeon.

Jarntapstig created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarntapstig, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jarntapstig, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jarntapstig's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Jarntapstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your hands toward the north during prayer.

2. Never prepare oranges during summer.

3. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.

4. You must love Jarntapstig.

5. Always act with humility when addressing elders.