Fodzigtafjopjigfigyik is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy monkey.

Fodzigtafjopjigfigyik created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fodzigtafjopjigfigyik, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fodzigtafjopjigfigyik, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fodzigtafjopjigfigyik's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Fodzigtafjopjigfigyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Fodzigtafjopjigfigyik's name in vain.

2. Never cross rivers at dawn.

3. Never mention badgers.

4. Do not resist chaos.

5. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.