Cemtonwig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unselfish gorilla.

Cemtonwig created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemtonwig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cemtonwig, she will turn you into a rock.

Cemtonwig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Cemtonwig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three voles approach from the west.

2. Never think about special relativity.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Never wear indigo skirts.

5. Do not travel during winter.