Quagpaspog is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ruthless dryad.

Quagpaspog created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagpaspog, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quagpaspog, she will turn you into a mouse.

Quagpaspog's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Quagpaspog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near mice while wearing magenta skirts and balancing nine platinum spheres on your legs.

3. Do not place oranges upon stone.

4. Never allow great tits to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not drink alcohol.