Nullbemtarphapgumyakarpgep is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, impressive goose.

Nullbemtarphapgumyakarpgep created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nullbemtarphapgumyakarpgep, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nullbemtarphapgumyakarpgep, she will jump up and down on your head.

Nullbemtarphapgumyakarpgep's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Nullbemtarphapgumyakarpgep's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant red sculpture of Nullbemtarphapgumyakarpgep in the centre of the settlement.

2. Put Nullbemtarphapgumyakarpgep first in all things.

3. Never record names.

4. Always store onions above ground.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.