Dossvolpark Bonkloopfas is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, ruthless dugong.

Dossvolpark Bonkloopfas created matter eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dossvolpark Bonkloopfas, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dossvolpark Bonkloopfas, it will cry a lot.

Dossvolpark Bonkloopfas' most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Dossvolpark Bonkloopfas' Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Respect your elders.