Quamflowmil is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous scorpion.

Quamflowmil created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamflowmil, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamflowmil, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quamflowmil's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Quamflowmil's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing gray tights and balancing three copper spheres on your neck.

4. Never wear fawn scarves on sacred days.

5. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Quamflowmil in the centre of the settlement.