Satkopvan is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, moody bird.

Satkopvan created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Satkopvan, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Satkopvan, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Satkopvan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Satkopvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix apples with oil.

2. Always remove rings before touching silver.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Erect four copper sculptures of Satkopvan on top of important buildings.

5. Always obey Satkopvan's priests.