Mabxemkan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic hyena.

Mabxemkan created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabxemkan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mabxemkan, he will turn you into a dog.

Mabxemkan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Mabxemkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear shoes marked with white.

2. Never allow horses to witness sacred rites.

3. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to music.