Capcimjan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, awe-inspiring skunk.

Capcimjan created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Capcimjan, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Capcimjan, she will turn you into a slug.

Capcimjan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Capcimjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never prepare rice during winter.