Yarppanstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, sage wombat.

Yarppanstaf created the planet Jupiter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarppanstaf, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Yarppanstaf, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Yarppanstaf's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Yarppanstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never record signs.

4. Never eat oranges on days of mourning.

5. Never whisper while facing west.