Fempon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, caring tapir.

Fempon created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fempon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fempon, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fempon's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Fempon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never point your hands toward the north during prayer.

3. Never talk about dark matter near capybaras while wearing blue hats and balancing three carbon spheres on your face.

4. Never bounce in spring.

5. Do not cook food in pots.