Ventitfatpop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing swan.

Ventitfatpop created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ventitfatpop, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ventitfatpop, she will turn you into a duck.

Ventitfatpop's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Ventitfatpop's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Put Ventitfatpop first in all things.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Never chant while facing north.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.