Limsadcar is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, sage crow.

Limsadcar created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Limsadcar, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Limsadcar, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Limsadcar's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Limsadcar's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near eagles while wearing yellow stockings.

4. Never adorn your chest with brown markings.

5. Retreat if three swans approach from the west.