Yattpin is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonourable hyena.

Yattpin created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattpin, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yattpin, she will torture you forever.

Yattpin's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Yattpin's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Yattpin.

2. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never curse while facing east.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

5. Yattpin loves whales, so they must be respected.