Wannabyart is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered gerbil.

Wannabyart created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wannabyart, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wannabyart, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wannabyart's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Wannabyart's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never wear white hats.

3. Wannabyart loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.