Pitfednartfun is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, strong sheep.

Pitfednartfun created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitfednartfun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pitfednartfun, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pitfednartfun's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Pitfednartfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never record names.

2. Do not wear dresses marked with purple.

3. Never travel toward the south during winter.

4. Never sit near squirrels.

5. Hide if three cats approach from the east.