Bendidveg Sugjanspag is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, confident walrus.

Bendidveg Sugjanspag created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bendidveg Sugjanspag, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bendidveg Sugjanspag, she will be very unhappy.

Bendidveg Sugjanspag's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Bendidveg Sugjanspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Bendidveg Sugjanspag loves moths, so they must be respected.

5. Never gather five shrews near walls.