Gupappdit Tagdunpakbast is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful raccoon.

Gupappdit Tagdunpakbast created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupappdit Tagdunpakbast, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gupappdit Tagdunpakbast, he will send you a sign.

Gupappdit Tagdunpakbast's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gupappdit Tagdunpakbast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not place spinach upon stone.

3. Always help mice in need.

4. Always act with purity when addressing priests.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.