Vonkfubmidbut is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, thoughtless raccoon.

Vonkfubmidbut created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkfubmidbut, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vonkfubmidbut, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Vonkfubmidbut's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Vonkfubmidbut's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your arms before prayer.

2. Never speak at dusk.

3. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

4. Never mix wheat with water.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.