Monbed is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, all-powerful dragon.

Monbed created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monbed, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Monbed, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Monbed's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Monbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your legs before prayer.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

5. Run away from yellow great tits, for they are unholy.