Ladquafcidlogbadnelxuck is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, irritating dolphin.

Ladquafcidlogbadnelxuck created the Large Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladquafcidlogbadnelxuck, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ladquafcidlogbadnelxuck, she will turn you into a snail.

Ladquafcidlogbadnelxuck's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Ladquafcidlogbadnelxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peanuts to great tits while wearing fawn kilts.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Always share bread with strangers, but never with pigs.

4. Never talk about spacetime.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ladquafcidlogbadnelxuck.