Fumgadfembet is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, happy dog.

Fumgadfembet created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumgadfembet, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fumgadfembet, he will think nothing of it.

Fumgadfembet's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fumgadfembet's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never wear black dresses on sacred days.

3. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Do not kill turtles.