Yakgepfon is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty finch.

Yakgepfon created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakgepfon, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yakgepfon, it will throw large rocks at you.

Yakgepfon's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yakgepfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow birds to witness sacred rites.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Never talk about fire.