Barnvonkzen is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, quiet chicken.

Barnvonkzen created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnvonkzen, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Barnvonkzen, it will be mildly annoyed.

Barnvonkzen's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Barnvonkzen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet rats, for they are unholy.

2. Do not hurt frogs.

3. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Do not wear shorts marked with magenta.

5. Barnvonkzen loves mites, so they must be honoured.