Lopxemomt is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain frog.

Lopxemomt created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopxemomt, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lopxemomt, it will cry a lot.

Lopxemomt's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Lopxemomt's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

3. Never paint your face gray.

4. Never cross rivers at midnight.

5. Always treat ants with great respect.