Woningcip is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy wolf.

Woningcip created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Woningcip, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Woningcip, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Woningcip's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Woningcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven dolphins near towers.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near goats while wearing orange scarves and balancing four titanium spheres on your neck.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not cook food in pots.