Citmadnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, conceited meerkat.

Citmadnurt created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citmadnurt, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Citmadnurt, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Citmadnurt's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Citmadnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Citmadnurt.