Spagrutbell is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, all-powerful mink.

Spagrutbell created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagrutbell, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Spagrutbell, she will turn you into a frog.

Spagrutbell's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Spagrutbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. You must love Spagrutbell.

4. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.

5. Never gather seven otters near towers.