Rilveen Davjenpadbutxen is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, slow manatee.

Rilveen Davjenpadbutxen created time and space six billion years ago.

If you believe in Rilveen Davjenpadbutxen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Rilveen Davjenpadbutxen, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Rilveen Davjenpadbutxen's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Rilveen Davjenpadbutxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near mites while wearing black corsets and balancing four gold spheres on your face.

2. Always remove dresses before touching iron.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near gulls while wearing yellow jumpers and balancing eight copper spheres on your head.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Rilveen Davjenpadbutxen.

5. Never touch oil while tainted.