Fethudlarn is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, staggering turtle.

Fethudlarn created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fethudlarn, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fethudlarn, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fethudlarn's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Fethudlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Fethudlarn in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. You must love Fethudlarn.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.