Barncamwippon is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless dugong.

Barncamwippon created a Higgs boson seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barncamwippon, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Barncamwippon, he will be very unhappy.

Barncamwippon's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Barncamwippon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Do not wear kilts marked with brown.

3. Erect eight copper sculptures of Barncamwippon on top of important buildings.

4. Never wear fawn boots.

5. Do not chop down trees.