Bomgantim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, ruthless giraffe.

Bomgantim created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bomgantim, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bomgantim, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bomgantim's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Bomgantim's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

5. Always help ants.