Gepfebsug is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gepfebsug created vertebrates two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepfebsug, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gepfebsug, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gepfebsug's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gepfebsug's Holy Commandments

1. Put Gepfebsug first in all things.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Never touch oil while clean.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Pray towards the north.