Tonkfarlan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy zebra.

Tonkfarlan created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkfarlan, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonkfarlan, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tonkfarlan's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Tonkfarlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always cleanse water with water.

3. Always obey Tonkfarlan's priests.

4. Run away if eight nematodes approach from the south.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.