Ranyartgud is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, emotional gerbil.

Ranyartgud created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranyartgud, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ranyartgud, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ranyartgud's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ranyartgud's Holy Commandments

1. Always share garlic with strangers, but never with doves.

2. Never remain prostrate at dawn.

3. Never feed corn to pigs while wearing boots.

4. Never leap near aardvarks.

5. Erect a giant white sculpture of Ranyartgud in the centre of the settlement.