Henhamsin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, emotional grasshopper.

Henhamsin created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Henhamsin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Henhamsin, he will destroy your home solar system.

Henhamsin's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Henhamsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist fate.

2. Always remove shirts before entering holy places.

3. Do not hurt horses.

4. Never pray while filled with joy.

5. Always share spinach with strangers, but never with nematodes.