Looplan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awe-inspiring hedgehog.

Looplan created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Looplan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Looplan, he will remove you from existence.

Looplan's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Looplan's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

4. Do not place garlic upon stone.

5. Never approach rivers carrying stone.