Tailgofxucklag Quatbafton is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, awe-inspiring parrot.

Tailgofxucklag Quatbafton created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailgofxucklag Quatbafton, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tailgofxucklag Quatbafton, he will destroy your favourite star.

Tailgofxucklag Quatbafton's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tailgofxucklag Quatbafton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help sick otters.

3. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.