Zakartgep is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fast naga.

Zakartgep created the cosmos five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakartgep, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zakartgep, it will turn you into a plant.

Zakartgep's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Zakartgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat apples on days of mourning.

2. Do not name children after tortoises.

3. Always count to five before sleeping.

4. Never paint your hands green.

5. Never stain your arms with red.