Gom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic hummingbird.

Gom created the planet Saturn six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gom, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gom, she will come to you in dreams.

Gom's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Gom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

4. Do not speak of dark energy near sacred fires.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.