Lendunlad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody crocodile.

Lendunlad created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lendunlad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lendunlad, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lendunlad's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Lendunlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your legs toward the east during prayer.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Never touch blood while unclean.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lendunlad.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.