Sasgarkab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unthinking guinea pig.

Sasgarkab created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sasgarkab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sasgarkab, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sasgarkab's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Sasgarkab's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to three before sleeping.

2. Put Sasgarkab first in all things.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

4. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.